I was in the midst of writing my 17th epic poem this morning (while brushing my tooth, incidentally), when this guy in a hat with a Fuller Brush Brush in both hands appeared at the door with these questions. I tried to be as concise as possible.

1. What is your conception of the tradition of cheese in contemporary poetry?

I began writing cheese poetry when I was quite young (3 days old, actually - before I got my first tooth!). Since then, I have evolved (moldered, actually) into a type of free-verse gorgonzola; unusual, I think among my Kraft American contemporaries. I smell special.

2. Who is your favorite cheese poet?

Loopy LeGouda, a Belgian softie, quite flavorful with a bland Pinot. (Not a relative, by the way.)

3. How would you catalog yourself in relation to those cheese statues over there, in the Community Archive Memorial Waste Disposal Unit Area District of Literature?

Go catalog yourself, Caesar! Salaud! All the world shall be taxed! [makes typical cheese-poetic Gallic gesture with third thumb]