I have to feel relatively calm, confident & relaxed to write poetry. I have to be composed in order to compose. So my ability to write depends on a certain feeling of equilibrium. On the other hand, I never feel quite happy or calm or equable unless I'm working on a poem.

This is a serious catch-22. Classic neurosis/obsession, I guess. Married to it. Some people write because they have to. I understand Whitman's "life poem" project.